These are the kinds of texts I get from my stalker. He'll go a few months without contacting me but every once in a while something like this will pop up. I'm not real sure what sets him off sometimes but when he decides to start focusing on me again he really goes for it.
So let me explain how this all started. A couple years ago I had a brief fling with a young girl. She was probably in her mid 20's at the time. There really wasn't any substance to it and within a couple months it just sort of petered out. There was no bad blood between us or anything, we just lost contact. Or so I thought.
Then several months later my life got turned upside down. My email was hacked, things started popping up online about me, I started getting really, really angry phone calls from people asking why I was calling their house in the middle of the night, people started showing up at my house in response to ads on Craigslist, I received a Jerry Springer style paternity test in the mail ....it was a nightmare.
Eventually the police got involved and it turned out that, unbeknownst to me, this girl I had been seeing had a boyfriend. I'll call him Rob because, well, that's his name. He found out about me and several other guys she was seeing and decided to get revenge. Not only was he behind all the email hacks, phone calls and other things going on at the time he was also harassing all these other guys as well as the girl I had been seeing. He's a real class act.
When all this was going on I wasn't exactly Prince Charming to the people that mattered most to me. In fact at the time I felt like I somewhat deserved what was happening to me. I've made a lot of changes over the last couple of years since all this started but one thing hasn't changed. That's the perverse interest my douche stalker still has in my personal life. I really can't even guess as to why he still feels like he needs to take revenge on me but he continues to try to ruin my reputation and warn everyone in my life about how much trouble I really am. Trouble with a capital T even. It can be frustrating to say the least.
In some ways I'm grateful to this prick for giving me the wakeup call that I needed. But at the same time I think it's gone on long enough. Let me be clear here, I'm not looking for sympathy here and don't want anyone to feel bad for me. When all this first started up I really let it get to me but now I just find it pathetic and even humorous. It boggles my mind that someone has enough time on their hands to do something like this.
So I've decided to post everything he's done, and continues to do, in an attempt to be transparent and show how ridiculous all of this is. I'm going to leave some things out only to protect people I care about. I don't mind sharing my story but their stories are theirs to share in their own way. And besides, I've hurt enough of the people I'm close to already and I want to respect their privacy. While some things are left out and I might even change some names everything about this story is true so in the following pages you can see how wonderful it is to have a stalker. Enjoy!
a dirty, dirty dog
One of the first things Rob did when he decided to make my life a living hell was to post a bunch of profiles on several cheater websites. I never knew these things existed but apparently there are several websites where you can post information about people who have cheated on you. You can post pictures, personal information, screenshots, phone numbers, everything. And there's no accountability on these sites. There's no verification process and you can post anonymously. Perfect for ruining someone's reputation.
One of the features of these sites is that you can email a link to anyone anonymously. Rob had hacked into my email and got my entire contact list and started emailing links to several websites to just about everyone I knew. I started getting emails from family and friends asking what this was all about. I followed some of the links and was horrified at what I saw. I'm not going to include any of the links just because I don't want to push any more traffic to the sites than they already get but below are some screenshots.
There were about 4 websites that I counted and this was a pretty typical post.
It was the comments on some of the sites that really cracked me up. Most of them were Rob pretending to be other jaded women that I had wronged. One woman accused me of stealing money from her purse, another accused me of sticking her with a hotel room bill. Every couple of months he'd post another comment just so the profiles would stay at the top of search results.
Some of the comments by other people were kind of funny and a quite flattering.
Thanks Ashlei! Seeing that at lease 13 other people agree with her makes me feel all warm inside.
I don't have herpes by the way...
Sarah is a true Patriot.
Every few months or so I get a new comment on the two remaining 'cheater sites'. They're usually pretty entertaining. Bullshit and STD's seem to be a common thread.
I tried everything I could think of to get the posts removed. I emailed the websites but never got a response. I found a reputation management company that said they could get an attorney involved but they wanted $800 upfront and couldn't guarantee they could get anything removed. In fact one of the sites has its servers in Korea and even if I filed and won a lawsuit they wouldn't have to remove anything.
I replied to some of the comments on one site explaining that while some of it was true (I did cheat on my wife after all) most of it was made up and if there was anyone out there that felt like they had been hurt by me then they should just contact me and we could talk about it like adults. That only created another flurry of angry comments and accusations from Rob so I've since stopped leaving comments.
I have no idea how many people have seen these sites. I know my entire family and most of my friends have. I'm sure they've cost me business too. Anyone who Googles my name will see these pop up at the top of the search results. I know for a fact that several property owners that I work with have seen them because they've told me. A lot of times clients will google my name to see who they're working with. I can only imagine that some potential clients have seen this garbage and run off but there have been plenty of others that have given me the benefit of the doubt and I'm truly grateful to them for that.
The websites have slowly been disappearing. Originally there were 4 or 5 sites that I was able to find. Now there are only 2 left. I'm sure sites like these get sued all the time so they come and go pretty regularly. I'm sure in time these will eventually disappear but it's been pretty frustrating having to deal with this.
my bastard son
In July 2013 I received a letter from Quest Diagnostics announcing that I was the proud father of a little baby boy named Bradley! Needless to say I was pretty shocked. Here's an excerpt of the letter.
Then a day or two later I got another letter from Kat, a girl I had dated a few months before. The letter wasn't actually from her, it was from a guy named Rob (her ex boyfriend), but I didn't know this at the time. Here's a copy of the letter.
None of this was making any sense. First off, based on the birthdate little baby Bradley would have been born 6 months premature. I'm no doctor but I'm pretty sure that's not even possible. Second, I had had a vasectomy before I ever started dating this girl. So even though intellectually I knew that there was no way this baby was mine, assuming there even was a baby, I was still scared out of my mind.
I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that this was true and this baby was mine. I tried calling the number in the letter but no one ever answered. Instead I got a text from the same number almost immediately. We went back and forth endlessly via text, me denying that this baby was mine and Kat (aka Rob) telling me I was a scum bag and I needed to take responsibility for this baby. Later I learned that this was one of Rob's tricks. He always has some excuse as to why he can't talk but is more than happy to pretend to be someone else via text.
I got so worked up about this that I eventually went back to my urologist to get tested again to see if maybe the vasectomy had reversed itself (I looked it up. It can happen.) $150 later I learned that I was in fact still sterile and there was no way I could have fathered this poor little bastard baby.
I also called Quest Diagnostics and they confirmed that the letter was a fake. They don't even do paternity tests. I forwarded everything to their legal department but they said there probably wasn't a whole lot they could do about it. I let the police know about it too and while they took my report there wasn't a whole lot they could do about it either. The return address on the letter was fake and the phone number was a pre paid burner so there was no way to trace it.
Then, as if the whole paternity test wasn't weird enough, Rob, still pretending to be Kat, kept texting me saying I needed to take responsibility for this kid and needed to pay up. I think he wanted something like $300 per month. He said his dad was a member of the Pagans, a hard corps motorcycle gang, and that he and his buddies would be coming to my house to 'talk' to me. He even gave me the date and time they'd be stopping by. He said they were going to convince me that I needed to take care of this baby. If you're not familiar with the Pagans they're a really violent biker gang similar to the Hell's Angels. They don't mess around. Of course no one showed up so I spent an afternoon like an idiot sitting in my living room with a shotgun across my lap. Pretty dumb.
Now I look back and am a little embarrassed that I let all this get to me so much but at the time it was incredibly stressful. I can laugh about it now but it still boggles my mind that someone would go to so much effort to pull something like this off.
BUT, in the off chance that there really is a baby Bradley out there, just know that I love you little buddy...
In August of 2013 I got the below email while I was out of town on a trip for work. I was….confused.
Now before I go any further with this one let me explain where I stand on homosexuality. I'm totally fine with it. If one guy wants to rub his dangly bits up against another guy's dangly bits (I'm pretty sure that's how gay men have sex) and both guys are cool with it then more power to them. Same with ladies and their lady bits. I don't necessarily understand what the appeal is for the guys (the ladies I totally understand) but that's their business, not mine. Bottom line, I have nothing against homosexuals and think they should have every right any other human being has.
However, when guys come to my house at all hours of the day and night in order to have sex with me I have a problem. This email was the beginning of probably the worst few months of my life.
When I got this email I did a quick search on Craigslist and there I was. Rob had put up an ad in the 'Men Seeking Men' category of the Casual Encounters section. I don't remember exactly what the ad said but it was something to the effect that my wife was away and I wanted some hot steamy man love while she was gone. I contacted Craigslist and asked that it be removed. It didn't matter though. As soon as one ad was taken down another one popped up in its place.
When I got back from my trip there was a little slip of paper in my door with my name and address on it just like the email had said. That same night I got a knock on the door around midnight. When I answered a young guy was on the porch and tried to come into the house as soon as I opened the door. I stopped him, asked what he wanted, he hemmed and hawed a bit until he mentioned something about meeting on Craigslist. I feel like I kept it together pretty well though. I told him that someone was messing with him and that he needed to leave. Now. I could tell he was pretty confused but he eventually left.
That was only the beginning though and I have to admit that I didn't keep things together quite as well after that first one. They started showing up at the door pretty much every day after that. I knew exactly who they were and what they wanted as soon as I saw them. They all had a nervous look about them and were really fidgety as they stood on the doorstep. Yet at the same time they were so excited they could hardly contain themselves.
I started answering the door by gruffly asking, "What do you want?" They'd usually mumble something about Craigslist and I'd respond, "Oh so you're hear to f*** me? Is that why you're hear? You want to f*** me mother f***er?!?" I'd get so angry I just couldn't control myself. I'd usually push them hard in the chest and follow them down the driveway as they scurried to their car. Then they'd speed off as I chased them down the street. I'm sure my neighbors loved it.
Finally, one night I brought my gun to the door. I followed the same routine but instead of thumping the guy's chest I pulled out my gun and chased him down the street yelling and cursing after him. He jumped in his car and sped down the street in reverse.
That's when I realized I needed to get the police involved. At first they were reluctant to help and kept asking what I wanted them to do about it. In frustration I explained that I have a lot of firearms in my house and that if they didn't send someone to look into all this then the next time I called it would be to let them know that I had just shot someone. They sent an officer over that night.
They advised me to stop being so aggressive and to let these guys in so I could get more information from them. This was tough. I invited the next guy into the house then explained the situation. I told him that someone was messing with both of us and that the police were on their way to ask him a few questions. He didn't like that one bit. But I had locked the door behind him and tried to explain that he wasn't in any trouble, they just wanted to ask a few questions.
He turned over phone number and email address that he had been communicating with as well as the ad he had responded to. He even texted Rob while he was standing in my living room to see if he could get a response. He told him he was out front and Rob told him that the door was open and to just come on in.
The police were able to interview a few guys but it usually went no where. There were some pretty interesting characters though. One guy was a former Marine that kept trying to talk about the Marine Corps while we waited for the cops. Another guy was a body builder who called himself Diesel Dave. Another guy brought flowers which I though was very romantic. Although he almost started crying when the police talked to him and begged them not to tell his wife. He told them that he was a plumber and that he had responded to an ad from a woman saying she needed help with a leaky pipe. There were actually a lot of guys wearing wedding rings showing up at my doorstep looking for gay sex. A pair of guys showed up to the door one night with a very large oblong package under one arm. I explained that it was all a hoax and one guy turned to the other and said, "I told you it was too good to be true."
What amazed me was how easily these guys went from seeing an ad online to showing up at a stranger's door. Here's what a typical exchange looked like:
- Diesel Dave: Hey, I'm in the area, wanna hook up?
- Rob: Sure what time.
- Diesel Dave: How about 4?
- Rob: Sure, here's my number. Text me and I'll send you the address.
- Diesel Dave: Cool. My name's Diesel Dave btw.
And that was pretty much it. Just a couple emails or texts and these guys were ready to have sex with complete strangers. It was unbelievable.
I found myself scanning the men seeking men section pretty often hoping to find the ads and flag them for removal before too many others found them and tried to bring me flowers again. Here's a link to the current men seeking men section if you've got the stomach to read some of them. They're all pretty much the same and all generally disturbing.
One ad was particularly troubling though. I can't be sure it was meant for me but it was close enough that it had me pretty worried. It described a rape fantasy where the guy wanted someone to sneak into his house (he'd leave the front door open), come up to his bedroom, have his way with him while he pretended to struggle, then leave without ever saying a word. I kept imagining some guy responding to an ad like that then getting sent to my house. It had me so worked up that late one night my dog started barking like there was someone at the door so I grabbed my shotgun and snuck around back. I crawled around the corner of the house and leveled my 12 gauge at an empty front porch. I don't know what spooked her but I felt like a fool for running around the neighborhood in by boxers with a shotgun.
Eventually the police pulled Rob in for questioning and the gay visitors stopped. I'll explain more about how they found out it was him posting this stuff later. Although that didn't end all of the craigslist shenanigans. After a brief lull I got several messages asking if my 'wood' was still available. I normally ignored the texts but every once in a while I'd reply back stating that I'm not gay and that someone is messing with them. Then one day I came back from a hike with my dog to see that all the wood I had piled in my backyard for camping and backyard fires was gone. Then it dawned on me what all those texts asking for wood were really about. They weren't asking for more gay sex they were actually asking about my firewood. Here's the ad I found on Craigslist.
the telephone game
Some of the phone calls I received during this period were insane. It took me a while to figure out what was going on but I finally realized Rob had two tricks he liked to use. First he had some kind of pre-recorded app he would use to prank call me. Second he was somehow able to call other people and have my number show up on their caller ID. Both drove me crazy.
The prank calls took me a while to figure out. I had just started my new business and the only phone I had was my cell phone so every call I got was a potential client. Because of that I had to be professional and polite on every call. Some of the calls I was getting were just bizarre though.
Imagine the kind of prank calls you hear on a really bad morning radio show. They'd start out normal enough but then would quickly turn into really weird and immature conversations. The person on the other end would start arguing with me about something and while I'd try to be reasonable they'd just keep talking over me yelling about something. Eventually I'd hear nothing but laughing on the other end and a recorded message about how I'd been punked. Once I figured out what they were I just hung up.
His other favorite trick, though, was a little harder to ignore. I realized something was going on when I started getting angry phone calls from men saying asking why I was talking dirty to their wife or girlfriend. I knew Rob had something to do with it but these guys insisted that it was my number that had called with the trash talking. After speaking with the phone company they said that Rob was using an app that can make my number show up on the receiver's phone. None of these calls ever showed up on my phone bill but the person getting the call only saw my number.
One guy called and left a really angry message. He said he wanted to call back and explain why I was being a pervert to his 13 year old daughter. I called back and apparently he and his wife went out to dinner leaving their kids alone without a sitter for the first time. While they were gone their daughter picked up the phone and the person on the other end started talking about how badly they wanted to lick Nutella of of her naked body. She was obviously scared out of her mind and called her parents right away. When they checked their phone it was my number that came up.
I tried my best to explain the situation and told them they could call the police to verify my story. I explained that I had kids myself and apologized for what their daughter went though. I do love Nutella but I would never say something like that to a kid. The guy said he understood and let it go but I wonder how many people Rob called that never called me back looking for an explanation.
online dating adventures
“There is NO reason to be rude!!! If you think I’m fat, you should NOT have fucking messaged me in the 1st place. By the way you look like a big ugly, balding goon with the tell-tale alcoholics bulbous nose. I’m reporting your profile!
— Karla from Tinder
Recently my stalker has created profiles for me on several internet dating sites. They like to chat with people for a bit then give them my number so I get a lot of texts saying, "Hey it's Stacy from POF. How r u?" and other things like that. I typically ignore them and inevitably they go back to whatever website they were on to ask what's going on. I guess when Karla went back to ask why I hadn't responded the person that created the profile didn't have very many flattering things to say to her.
But come on Karla, a big ugly balding goon?!? That one hurts....
I actually have reached out to a couple of people, especially the guys who think they're chatting with a woman. Rob has created a couple female profiles as well. I have to say, men are much more persistent than women when it comes to online dating.
Tom from Tinder kept texting me asking Leann for the pics she promised. He was really interested in getting these pics (Leann must be a real hottie), texted several times and even called. When I answered the phone he just hung up so I texted him letting him know that I'm a man (I left out the part about being an ugly balding goon) and that I'd like to talk so I could get some information about who was posting this stuff. He replied back, "I don't do homo stuff. Bug off!" I haven't heard from him since...
Another text read, "Hey! It's Mike, your new adventure buddy : )". I didn't reply to this one. But if you happen to read this, Mike, while I'm all set on adventure buddies I'll certainly keep you in mind. Thanks.
Here's one of the ads Rob posted for me. Honestly I think it's pretty good. I'd definitely want to date me if I came across this profile.
the mystery solved
After several months of endless text messages and phone calls, gay guys showing up at my door, paternity tests and threats, I thought I finally had everything figured out. The police kept asking if I knew who was doing all this but I was reluctant to say anything until I knew for sure. And I was a little embarrassed. I didn't want to have to admit that this was all happening because I had had an affair. But once I felt like I had gathered enough evidence to feel confident about who was doing this I went to the police with all my 'evidence'.
I was convinced that Kat, the girl I had the fling with, was behind all of this. I had had endless text conversations with her arguing about the baby, about her sending gay guys to my door, calling people with my number, posting things about me online, etc, etc. I was absolutely sure it was her.
I gathered as much information as I could about her. I got her phone number, her parent's names and address, and her work phone and address. I finally went to the local police and turned everything over to them. Everything looked pretty convincing to them too so they decided to pick her up and bring her in for questioning. I had called her work to see if she was there so I told them exactly where to find her and they said they'd give me a call once they had spoken with her.
A few hours later I got a call from the Chief and he explained everything. Apparently Kat was a victim in all this too. Her angry ex-boyfriend, Rob, had hacked into all of her accounts when they broke up and saw that she had been with several other guys while they were together. He was enraged and decided to make her life hell by using her identity to harass these guys she had been seeing. Everything he was doing to me he was also doing to at least 3 or 4 other guys in the area. Kat's attorney, who was there at the police station with her, gave them the details and they verified them with several other police departments in the area.
He had been going after her directly too, harassing her, stalking her at work, slashing her tires, all sorts of crazy stuff. When I learned about all of this I felt terrible. She was just as much a victim in all of this as I was and here I was making it worse by having the police pick her up at work and take her in for questioning. In fact she was blindsided by the whole thing. When the police asked her about me she didn't even remember who I was until they showed her a picture. I've wanted to reach out to her a couple times to apologize but it's probably just best to leave her alone. She's probably been through enough.
I asked the police who the boyfriend was but they were pretty reluctant to release any information. I had made several comments over the preceding months that I wanted to kill whoever was doing this. Add that to all the times I chased away the gay guys with either a gun or a baseball bat and I can understand why they didn't want to give me his name.
They eventually brought him in for questioning too but there wasn't much they could do. He had covered his tracks so well by masking his IP address and only using burner cell phones that, while they were sure he was behind all this, there was no proof. They said that he had been by my house on multiple occasions and that he had even called the police on me saying that I was neglecting my dog. The Chief did say that he gave him, 'a stern talking to' and that I shouldn't have to worry about him anymore. For some reason that wasn't very reassuring.
Later in conversation one of the officers slipped and mentioned that his name was Rob Walters and that he lives in Bethlehem, PA. As soon as he mentioned the name he got a little flustered and I could tell he wasn't supposed to tell me. I've searched over and over for a Rob Walters in Bethlehem but it's such a common name I don't really come up with anything useful. Besides, from what the police said he's pretty good at this cyber stuff and is good at covering his tracks. That's why they haven't been able to actually charge him with anything.
So I know who he is (kind of) but there's not a whole lot I can do other than keep track of everything and bring it to the attention of the police whenever something new comes up. Either he'll get bored with all of this (which I would have thought would have happened a couple years ago but I've clearly underestimated how much time he has on his hands) or he'll eventually slip up and I'll be able to press some kind of charges agains him. I really just wish he'd be a man and come talk to me face to face. But he's a coward that likes to hide behind a computer and pretend to be a woman so I don't see that happening any time soon.
A while ago I had some trouble with someone posting things about me on the interwebs. Not very flattering stuff either. In a moment of desperation I hired a reputation management company to create a better web presence for me so that the good content would show up higher in search results than the bad content.
It didn't really work out as well as I had hoped. I'm pretty sure they used the $500 I have them to hire some non-English speaking copy editors to create a plethora of blogs and profiles using my name. The results were horrible yet entertaining all at the same time. You definitely get what you pay for.
Here's the standard text they used on pretty much everything:
“Riley Ockerman is a very talented and a very intelligent and creative person. He is a Art lover. He lives in Pennsylvania the state of USA. Riley studied in Artistic Expression. To explore new things and go to new places and meet new people interests him a lot.He is in Real Estate Management Industry.
He loves meeting new people and exploring new places and studying their culture and knowing about the things and their ways of living. Through short Riley has not written any long pieces and only has worked with short pieces, Riley also loves to creates portraits of the individuals and places that surround him or the places where he visits and explore. He work is a blend of fiction and fact and is most often expressed in prose, though he has dabbled in poetry, as well.
Riley loves what he does and he makes all his work look very lively and make things look beautiful. His work is vary neat and he is also appreciated many times and through many rewards of appreciation also. His nature is very friendly and very interesting and he makes people around him very happy and comfortable and learning new cultures always interests him. Riley occasionally, he uses photography or drawings to complement the portraits he is working on that makes his work look more interesting and attract many people towards his work.
Riley Ockerman wishes to continue his journey and wants to roam the entire world and see different people and enjoy his life and keep creativity alive in him and loving his life.
— Riley Ockerman, Dabbler of Poetry